P.A.N.I.C.

For when you want to panic.

I grew up going to bed with a packed bag under my bed. I grew up in 4 countries. I grew up thinking everything was temporary. My house. My bed. The time I had with my parents. i was always afraid. I was always hiding it. I genuinely had panic attacks as a pre-teen. I genuinely lived scared while hiding it.

As an adult in my 20s, in Manhattan, and finally in charge of my circumstances, I suddenly could not sleep. New job. New apartment. New room mates. New friends. I had case of insomnia that Palahniuk wrote about in 1996. I found my way to dream land in 1993.

How? I saw a neurologist I refer to as Dr. Nathan. Not his real name.

6 sessions. Week one we talked about panic and he gave me the following which has worked ever since.

I wrote out these steps as ‘morning pages’ every day until I had them memorized and felt capable enough to execute the coping strategy without hesitation.

P= Process. Repeat the facts of what you are confronted with until your breathing slows.

A= Accept. Say the truth aloud until you know it is real.

N= Navigate. draw a map or diagram or make a list of what you are going to do, in response, for the next 12 minutes. Hours. Days. Take the time. Be as specific as possible.

I= Inform. Let everyone and anyone know, that is affected, what is happening and what is going to happen next.

C= Calculate. Do the math. Know the costs (time AND money) before you do anything.

Repeat.

I have slept well since.